I've missed you, all of you

Dear Snow, Snowboarding, Mountains, & Views that make me feel alive,

It's been a long time since I've seen you guys. It's not that I didn't want to see you or do you or be with you or feel you but you know when trying to save money you're the first to go. But this last weekend was amazing. I forgot how much I loved all of you. Two days straight was not enough. I was able to bond with 4 other co-workers as well. I cooked and impressed them as well, but you know I love to cook regardless. Besides all that, when we were at the resort and riding the chair lifts to the top the rush came back to me. I inhaled the winter air and just smiled, I knew I belonged there. As I rose above the trees to the top the view was endless. Again I smiled, you'll notice my dear friends that I smiled a lot that day because of you. The first lift was coming to an end and my heart started to pound just a little bit faster. Instinct kicked in and I prepared myself on how to get off the lift, "stand up straight, stand still and ride it out."

Helmet and strap, check. Goggles, check. Music playing, check. Gloves sealed, check. Lock in, stand up, take a deep breath and go, quadruple check. The brisk air hitting my face, feeling the snow below me, oh yes I remember now. "Faster, faster" I demanded. I tucked myself in and fucking owned that shit. I could hear Bobby exclaim from my right, "WOOOOT!" Soon everyone was crying out their own battle cries, the trip officially had started.

Up and down we went, not repeating a single run. Trying a new route each time, traversing over ridges, and cornices. Dodging and weaving through the trees, getting stuck in the occasional deep powder. Powder which I was more than happy to get stuck in and think how happy I was to dig myself out. Mr. Mountain I don't like your friend, Mr. Flatspot, he was annoying and could of done without dealing with him. But let's not focus on the negative, this letter is all about positives. Remember that time I dropped in on that dirty cornice? I thought it was soft powder right below but oh no, you tricked me and it was really packed and hard snow. I accepted your challenge with ease, leaned back and rode it out.

I remember one time as Britney Spears was screaming, "you're a womanizer, oh womanizer" I was bobbing my head to the beat, singing when all of a sudden I hit this lip that I did not carve correctly, falling and sliding for a long while. I gave a quick chuckle remembering Mr. Snow you're much softer to fall on than concrete. How forgiving you are for me experimenting with switch and jumps letting me fall and encouraging me to try again. Freeboding has helped me understand my weight distribution was incorrect, I've been favoring my back leg. A few adjustments to my stance on my binding fixed that issue. Every time I'm up there with you guys, no matter how much I think I have it down, I learn something new about snowboarding. Was I not executing the 180 because my hips weren't rotating faster than my upper body? Brilliant.

Even though I was with a group of friends, I was all alone that day. Alone with my thoughts, music playing as a soundtrack to the internal discussions going on in my head. Who was I the last time I went snowboarding? I thought I was happy then, at a good place in my life. I had a girlfriend, was in love, doing a good job at my job. But now I realize, a lot has happened since the last time I snowboarded. My girlfriend and I broke up which was probably one of the best things to happen to me. Not because the fact I wasn't with her anymore, but because I was with me again. I was able to work on me and figure out exactly what I wanted to focus on. Now I'm doing a great job at my job, I have someone under me now. Whom I've taken under my wing and treated like a little brother. Cutting out the bullshit I had to sort through and teach him what he needs to know. Letting him crash when necessary, only to watch as he learns and become smarter each day. Forgive me Mr. Snow and others for I have digressed from my letter to you. But those are only some of what I thought being alone up there. A necessary escape for me from the real world, from all the goals I have set, from all the projects, from all the people in my life that were awaiting my return. I was tired and being back I am tired again. I'm always tired, thinking there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything. But when I was up there with all of you, time was not a factor. My body and mind didn't want to just give up and concede victory (even after whining about my legs being on fire). No, I pushed myself till the very end and when they did not let us get back on the lift did I (we) stop.

Thank You. I smile again for what you have given me this weekend. My gusto for life is back.

-Me